John Newton, famous for writing “Amazing Grace” also wrote the hymn, “I asked the Lord that I might grow”. I don’t care for this one: it doesn’t have as much grace, and it is below amazing. When you set out write songs, you had better write a lot, because some of them are going to turn out badly, like this one.
| Lyrics | D- |
| Melody | Not applicable (it’s a borrowed tune) |
Lyrics and comments
Here’s the lyrics, with a comment for each verse:
VERSE 1
I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and ev’ry grace,
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.
Comment: This sounds like a promising start.
VERSE 2
‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair.
Comment: The “I trust” here is weird: as if the whole thing is speculation, and all that we are really sure about is the despair. Hold on … you got these words from above? Well, that’s quite a thing. Lots of poetic licence going on here.
VERSE 3
I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He’d answer my request
And, by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins and give me rest.
Comment: Well, that’s a noble idea … although shouldn’t you subdue your own sins …?
VERSE 4
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in ev’ry part.
Comment: Still not getting any relief here. It’s all guilt.
VERSE 5
Yea, more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe,
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Humbled my heart and laid me low.
Comment: So he’s basically getting chastened, for seeking to grow in the Lord. Dude is humbled. Dude feels like Job.
VERSE 6
“Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried;
“Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
“’Tis in this way,” the Lord replied,
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”
Comment: So dude says “what nonsense is this?” and then he says he heard the words of God, saying like “You want grace? Sucker! The best I can do is woe and being laid low and the power of hell assaulting your soul. I always do that.” Odd.
VERSE 7
“These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”
Comment: So yeah, when you pray for something, God will take ALL your joy, and you’ll have to come back, and then God may give you some consolation, unless you have to grow first. Let go of your stupid pride and let go of yourself (“she really let herself go”), and just be spiritual.
How do I really feel?
I hate this song. It’s all about some guy, supposedly seeking God, but then looking deep within, and finding the wickedness of his own heart (that part is fine), and then saying that looking at all that stuff is God’s plan for spiritual growth. The Bible says that looking into his word is the exercise to keep us humble. This is distinct from the song’s idea to feel the wickedness of your own heart:
Psalms 119:5 O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!
6 Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments.
7 I will praise thee with uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments.
8 I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly.Psalms 119:97 O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day.
…
103 How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
104 Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.
Grow by the word
The mechanism for growth is the word of God, provided you are actually saved by the grace of God:
1 Peter 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious.
We can grow by listening to preaching by people that are actually men of God:
Ephesians 4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carriededifying about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunningcraftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
This says that if we seek to grow, we should find that the ministers of God prepare us for the work of the ministry, perfect us and edify us, by carefully teaching us the word. It does not say that God will cause us to realise our wretchedness to beat down our pride.
The idea that God will subdue our sins is real, but it does not wait for a favoured hour: we can do this at any time we choose to follow the Spirit of God (as indeed, we really should do):
Romans 8:10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Suffering
So, if we’re not hearing the Bible’s teaching on growth, what is this song actually teaching?
The centrepiece of Calvinism, and the one True Fact™ that resonates with the human heart, is its doctrine of depravity: that there is nothing good in man, and that he is worthy of the very worst treatment. (This is not altogether false.) This hymn reflects this kind of thinking. Calvinism diagnoses the heart of man as corrupt, but is happy to leave it there and contemplate its utter depravity, rather than proceed deliberately to better things! All Christian growth in Calvinism is supposed to be automatic: an inevitable perseverance in good works and spiritual commendation. The reality, however, is that growth is not automatic. When the reality of personal sin and failure hits the saved person, Calvinism pops up its stupid head, and says that being deeply aware of your sin is the essence of growth, much like being deeply aware of a flat tyre is the very essence of travel. When the reality of God’s chastening for sin hits a son that God has received, Calvinism pops up its stupid head, and says that being chastened for your sin is the essence of spirituality, much like falling off a bike is the essence of cycling. Calvinism says to faint when the Lord rebukes you.
The kindest explanation I can think of the words of the song, is that it is a misapplication this (or a similar passage), where Paul and his friends almost died (no, they were going to die, but were delivered), to teach them to trust in God, and understand his ability to save, even out of death:
2 Corinthians 1:8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:
9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:
10 Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;
However, this circumstance did not come on Paul and his friends because they asked that they might grow, but because they set about to spread the gospel. It is not an oppression of their inward darkness and sins, but those that hate the gospel that made their life tough.
There are a few elements of truth in the song. You could argue that the writer is talking about being purged as a fruitful branch of a vine, and that the purging is pretty painful for the branch:
John 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
Bit But there’s a problem: the result of the purging that Jesus is talking of, is not despair, but joy. Also, pruning a grape vine is not about pain: it’s about the least painful illustration that you can conceive that involves removing bits.
And here’s Paul saying that in all of his troubles, he and his pals were distressed, troubled by the persecution that cast them down: and yet they were not in despair.
2 Corinthians 4:5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake.
6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.
He says that the outward physical trials did not cause them despair, but showed the life of Jesus keeping them alive. They say that the more they suffer, the more they are consoled:
2 Corinthians 1:5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
An evil heart of unbelief
We are warned against having an evil heart of unbelief. This is not something to normalise, but something that should concern us greatly if we detect it in our brothers (and those we suppose are brothers):
Hebrews 3:12 Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.
The hidden evils of the heart are real, but not at all the cause for celebration and calm acceptance:
Genesis 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
The Christian life is not the acceptable contemplation of the wickedness of our hearts (as proved by the law), but the contemplation of the grace and peace that we have in Jesus Christ:
Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
2 Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:
Note that we are righteous, not by some outward thing we do, nor even by our inward appreciation of our sins, but by the Holy Ghost, that we have of God, simply by believing in Jesus Christ:
Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
Pride and self
The remedy for “self” is a command: the scripture says that we should measure ourselves with soberness, just as God has measured us by faith – we are not high and exalted, but rather we have entered without personal worthiness into the grace wherein we stand simply by faith in Christ:
Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
God’s remedy for pride is to resist the proud: if you’re proud, expect resistance like the song says. This is not God’s approval, but his disapproval. If you’re humble, then look for grace:
James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Being chastened as a son is something comfort to the believer, because it says you are a son, but more urgently, it is an instruction to us to get our act together. We should not be persuaded by this song that grievous chastening is a joy itself, but proceed directly to being exercised by it to give up the fight for bad ideas, and to rather be righteousness:
Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
